– If you take Carmelo Anthony, and if you take out a few
of those other players and then get him back in, then I think that it’s
going to be a good match. You know what I mean? Welcome back to the Non-Alcoholic
Beverage Connoisseur. My name, Hal Gatewood. This is my niece, Sophia C, Sophia? Sophia, she has a beverage right here which I haven’t seen,
I’ve only seen the color. And she mumbled some
weird name of what it is so we’ll try to figure out what that is. Would you care to show us what you got? [groans]
[laughs] Why is it so green? – Cucumber, celery,
grapefruit, grapefruit, green chard, green leaf
lettuce, lemon, kale, spinach, parsley mint tea. – Are you joking me? Why are there so many things in it? – There’s like a fruit kind, and I was like [gasps],
that looks so good! But that was like, I’ll make
the show more interesting. – This will make the
show more interesting, I like the attitude there. 99% juice, what do you
think that one percent is? – Disgustingness. – First ingredient is cucumber
juice, do you like cucumbers? – Well, everything’s in there. – I don’t know if I like cucumber juice. Celery, grapefruit, green chard juice. Okay, do we need to Google
what green chard is? – I think it’s something like cows eat. – Cows eat it?
– Chard? – Chard? Hold on, just checking my FarmVille city. Chard is a leafy green vegetable often used in Mediterranean cooking. There, see, the show is not always just an entertainment.
– Cow. – It is also informational. So you’ve come in here today, you’re going to make me eat chard. – And some more information.
– Drink chard. – A lot of these drinks are disgusting. – Yes, that’s part of the show. – It’s three dollars. – It was three bucks for this thing? [sniffing] – Smells like cucumbers. – It does smell like all those
things have been mixed up into one better thing.
– It smells pretty good. – [groans] It smells like cucumbers. Look at this gnarly beverage.
– When I can smell it closer, it looks ewwwwww. [groans] – You brought it. – All of it?
– Yeah, part of the show is that you drink the entire beverage. And you enjoy it. Gluten free, it’s PBA free. PBA, isn’t that a plastic thing? PBA free? Y’know what I’m talking about? Plastic, banana plastic alpherides. – Cups up? – Cups up. Time to play 7-Up. [cups clinking] Here you go, you got to
drink it at the same time, we get that fate,
[sniffs] oh that is weird. [laughs]
[gasps] – We have to drink it all! – Lovely. – I’m going to do it over here. [groans] [coughs] I need water, I’m going to barf. – You’re going to barf,
did you bring the puke bin? Everybody keeps leaving. – [Sophia] Gimme some water.
– He’s got, he’s got a trash can, right there. It’s not that bad, it tastes like celery. – [Sophia] It tastes like lemon! – It tastes like you’re
drinking an entire garden mixed into one thing, but y’know. With a little bit of the–
– It tastes a little bit like carrot. – Is carrot on the list? – No.
– Carrot’s not on the list. – Do you want the rest of mine? – No you got to drink the whole thing. – Oh yuh!
– Let’s go again! Round two, ding ding ding ding! Oh, that smells weird. [gasps] Feel like a gardener. Oh look at this, the
stage crew brought water. Thanks stage crew, can you
shut the door stage crew? Get your green on. It’s like a farmer’s market in a bottle. Oh, how did we miss that!? It’s exactly like a
farmer’s market in a bottle. But why, why do we mix it
all up into a beverage? – It’s exactly like something disgusting. – Why don’t we just eat stuff anymore? What’s wrong with us? Can we not just eat cucumbers?
– Too lazy! People can’t chew with their teeth. Okay, I’ll give it to those
people who may have bad teeth, or not have teeth at all, they– – Sorry. – They can drink it,
okay, but the rest of ’em, which I think is the target market, I don’t think they go out thinking “Y’know, there’s a good market of people “who don’t have teeth, that
want to drink their vegetables.” Y’know what I’m saying? The question is, are you
going to finish that? C’mon, let’s go! [gasps] That is disgusting. – Refill on water please? – I’ve been to the farmer’s market, it’s, there’s some weird people there. – I can’t do it, it’s
giving me a headache. – It’s giving you a headache? – No it’s not giving me a headache, it’s giving me a nose headache. – A nose headache? Much better without the smell, isn’t it? – How could you do that? – For the show, it’s all for the show. – Disgusting. – Yeah it’s disgusting, did you read the things that are in it? It’s like they went to a farmer’s market, y’know what I’m saying? They got a snow shovel. They started scraping the
bottom of all the little bins, and they said, “Hey, you
guys want that stuff there?” And they go, “No no,
that’s fine, you take it.” And then they go, “Okay, thanks.” And they keep scraping,
and they keep scraping. And they throw it into a barrel. Then in that barrel, they
start smushing it down. They start smushing it. They take off their shoes like grapes, and they start smushing down
all the tart chard quart. They just got it all in a
barrel, in a big barrel. And they’re squishing it
down into a Suja drink. And then they mark, and
they put it in a bottle, and it goes on a truck,
and it shows up in, and it’s at the place,
and then you drink it! – Sounds disgusting. With the feet part. – Thanks for joining us
on this week’s adventure into the fruit markets of America. As we drink Sujas–
– We’re still drinking it. – Uber Greens Organic Beverage. Containing way too many things in it. – How do people stand this
stuff, it’s disgusting. – It’s ’cause they have
to drink it, it has to be. They can’t drink a coke so they go… It’s gone. [chuckling] Look at this, this stage
hand is incredible. So thanks again for joining us, remember to recycle your bottles in states that require
recycling your bottles. – I’m going to put some ice in there. Wonder if that’s going
to make it any better. – Thanks for watching, don’t, not yet. We got to have a little b-roll y’know, where they hit the subscribe button.